


Dude Looks Like a Lady

by sklynn46



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, M/M, Temporary, Witches, but we still call him a dude, dean gets turned into a chick, fem!dean, gender swap, i dont understand tags yet, sam is in on the whole scheme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-29
Updated: 2015-03-29
Packaged: 2018-03-20 03:44:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3635349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sklynn46/pseuds/sklynn46
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean gets turned into a chick and finally gets his head out of his ass. Cas gets his head out of his ass too. Sam and Crowley know. I suck at summaries, just read.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dude Looks Like a Lady

**Author's Note:**

> beta-ed by Kimi go check her out at http://upsidedown-minstrel.tumblr.com/

_Son of a Bitch._

Those words are like a constant chant in Dean’s mind. He won’t say them out loud, even though he wants to. He can’t. If he does say it out loud he knows he’ll cringe at the sound of his own voice. 

_That damn witch. I hate witches._

\--------------------------------------------

Dean, Sam, and Cas had been hunting a coven of witches down in Evanston. No, not Illinois. Indiana. Where you had to go two towns over to find a motel and a decent bar. Luckily that’s where the locals went too. There was one they didn't know about apparently. She was flirting with Dean the other night, at a small dive they had all gone into for a few beers before heading back to the motel. 

She didn't look like a witch. Young and pretty and seemingly very into Dean, but he just wasn’t feeling it. He hadn’t been feeling all that flirty since Cas came back and started hunting with him and Sammy. So when she went to kiss him, he pulled back, surprised at his own annoyance at a pretty girl trying to kiss him. _Well girl might not be a very accurate word_ , Dean thought, _not with a body like that._ Lately he seemed to be appreciating soft curves less and sharp lines more.

Dean had gone outside to sit in the impala for a while after they had gotten back to the motel. Sam was in the shower and Cas was half asleep watching Dr. Sexy when he slipped out. _Why did I not kiss her? Maybe if she had dark hair and blue eyes. Like Cas’. Woah WOAH! Winchester! Pull this brain train over. No no no. I don’t have a thing for Cas._

Dean’s thoughts were racing. _Do I have a thing for Cas?_ Ever since Purgatory, his fun dreams had been a little cloudy. But, he could always recall sharp lines and firm muscles. There was always rough stubble and low groans. 

_Huh._

_Ok. Ok then. I’m attracted to Cas._

He was surprisingly unsurprised at this revelation. While he sorted through this new information he couldn’t help but think. Was he gay? Bi? _Maybe I don’t have a thing for guys. Maybe I just have a thing for Cas._ Ok, that he could handle. 

Feeling a little better about the situation, Dean got out of the impala, and was just about to walk through the motel room door when he caught his reflection in the window.

\------------------------------------------------

_Son of a Bitch._

He raised his hand up to his face, the reflection did the same. _Ok. Yeah. That’s me._

_WHAT THE FUCK!_

_We got all of the witches._

In his shock, he must have screeched what he was thinking, because soon after those thoughts occurred Sam was running out the door, gun drawn, with Cas close behind. 

Dean just kept staring at the reflection in the window. 

“Dean. DEAN!” Sam was trying to get his attention. He tucked his gun back into the waist band of his jeans while looking around to make sure no one had decided to peek out of their rooms to see what was going on.

“Sam. I think he’s in shock. We need to get him inside.” Cas said unlocking the door where they had accidentally let it swing closed.

Dean’s hair was longer than Sam’s. By, like, a LOT. And. AND. And he had BOOBS. His clothes hung loose on his slightly thinner frame, and he was just getting to really look when Sam started to pull him through the door.

“Dean! Say something man,” Sam shook his shoulder, “Cas get me a glass of water.”

“Ok. Do you think he’s going to be able to hold it? He shaking pretty bad.” Cas’ voice was calm, but he was good at that. Worry and concern for Dean were at the forefront of his mind.

“No,” Sam scoffed, “I’m going to throw it on his face.” Dean had seen worse than this. Sam knew he just needed to get him to snap out of it so they could figure this out. He ran his hand through his hair, “Shit.”

\-------------------------------------------

Dean could hear them talking. He wasn’t really processing much right now besides _chick, girl, lady, female, woman. You know I do look kinda hot. I’m a girl. What the hell. I’m a girl I’m a girl I’magirlI’magirl. I’MAGIRLWHATTHEHELL I’M A FUC—_

Sam threw the water straight in Dean’s face. Dean blinked a few times and took in his surroundings. He was sitting on one of the beds in the hotel room. Sam was in front of his still clutching a glass - _that asshat threw water on me_ – looking concerned and a little freaked out. Cas was over towards the little kitchenette. He was staring at Dean like… well like he had just been turned into a girl. Only Cas wasn’t staring at his face like Sam was, and his face was starting to turn red. _Why the hell is Cas blushing? I’M the one who got turned into a girl and just had water thrown on me_ – Dean looked down – _oh. Yeah. That would be why Cas is blushing._ Dean had thrown on a light grey t-shirt this morning to wear under his flannel. It was one of his favorites. He had all but worn it thin. There were even holes starting to show around the collar. _And that would be why he is staring. Well I guess if I would have KNOWN I WAS going to be TURNED INTO A FUCKING GIRL I would have worn a FUCKING BRA!_

_DAMMIT!_

The fact that Dean had been turned into a girl was slowly being pushed out of his mind. Cas being flustered at the sight of a very busty Dean in a wet shirt was starting to take over every thought process. This had to happen right as he figured out his feelings for Cas. _Maybe he’s only into chicks._

\------------------------------------------

Dean’s face fell. 

“Hey. Dean. Man, are you ok?” Sam was trying to get his attention. 

“Are you serious? I’m a chick right now and you have to call me ‘man’? … Thanks, that actually helps a bit.” Dean, of course, was trying to play off some of the distress with jokes. Albeit really poor ones. 

“Ugh. Well. Umm.” Sam muttered confused. Dean being distressed, and a girl, was really cutting into his joke talent. 

Cas was still standing over in the kitchenette, but at least now his eyes were trained on Dean’s face. 

“This had to have been spell,” Cas said as he snapped back to reality, “And there aren’t any hex bags in the room. I checked.” 

“Well, then I guess we missed a witch.” Dean’s voice was really going to annoy him. It was… feminine. Dean preferred a gravelly rasp now. A particular gravely rasp. 

“Um. Ok.” Sam seemed to be the most freaked for some reason. He looked like he was on edge and ready to bolt. “So. Ugh. Yeah. Ok, then. We got the whole coven, but there was one that kept muttering like a wacko about a Ci-Cind- no… Cynthia?” 

Dean’s eyes widened. “Celia? No, there’s no way,” Sam looked at him quizzically, “No, dude, she was the bartender. She didn’t look like a witch.” 

Cas felt Sam’s bitch face from across the room. “Dude, do you not remember those suburban housewife witches? Did they look like witches to you?” 

_Oh yeah… almost forgot about them. They were kinda hot. In a MILF way._ “Oh yeah, but hey. Ok. Witches don’t try to kiss hunters alright. So she’s gotta be out." 

Cas’ head popped up then. Finally joining the conversation. “Dean, did you kiss the bartender?” 

“What? No. I don’t go around kissing random women.” Double bitch face. “Alright, yeah I kinda do that sometimes. But, but I haven’t in a while.” Dean rushed to finish. Cas’ frown eased a little. 

“Yeah… Ok. Whatever,” Sam mumbled looking back and forth between the pair, “Maybe she’s mad. That’s a really stupid reason to turn someone into a chick, but ok. Dean you stay here--” 

“Why the hell do I have to stay here?” 

“Well, um…” Sam paused, “You can’t really go out like that.” 

“Like wh-” Dean looked down, _oh yeah._ “Ok. Ok fine I’ll stay here and you and Cas can go track down this bitch and get her to reverse it or. Or kill her if ya gotta.” Dean took a deep breath. _Shit man I really need to calm down here._

“No…” Sam looked back and forth between Dean and Castiel. “No Cas should probably stay here with you, just in case something else happens. I’ll check the car for hex bags when I go out, but… but you guys just stay here and make sure she doesn’t pull anything else.” 

Sam looked over at Cas. “Cas, did you get that? Keep an eye on Dean, don’t let him out. Cas, do you copy?” 

Cas was still staring but at least now it was at the ground instead of Dean’s newly plump chest. He jerked his head up and gave a small nod, obviously trying not to look over at Dean. 

“Ok,” Sam looked between the two. What a pairing this was. A soaked, confused, female Dean, and a flustered Cas. “Ha,” Sam thought to himself, “Deastiel.” “Ok,” Sam coughed to cover up his pause, “I’ll be back. I’ll call if there’s any trouble. Just- just stay here ok.” He was barely holding back the laughter as he swiped the keys off the table and all but busted through the door. He really hoped something came of this, the tension was getting unbearable. 

\------------------------------------------------

As soon as the door shut Dean let out the breath he’d been holding. He looked down and sighed, “God.” 

“I second that,” He was staring at the ceiling now. Cas’ voice was sounding a little weird. Kind of chocked back like he was restraining something. 

“Alright I better change,” Dean walked to the other side of the bed to snag a new shirt out of his duffle. 

\-------------------------------------------------

“No.” Cas thought to himself. “He’s your best friend, and as much as you’ve wanted to do this for a while, you can’t try to take advantage of him just because he’s slightly vulnerable now that he’s been turned into a woman.” But the more Cas thought about it, the more appealing the idea became. “Maybe Dean won’t have any adverse reactions to it,” he pondered, “His sexual orientation indicates a male and a female partner, who’s to say who has to be the male and who has to be the female.” By this point Cas’ eyes were locked on Dean’s back. The flannel shirt was laying on the bed along with a new tshirt, and Dean was tugging his shirt over his head. 

Cas snapped. 

He couldn’t take it any longer. He had to at least give it a shot. He had held back for so long. Every time Dean changed in front of him he had bit the inside of his cheek trying to see if he was still human enough to feel even the slightest bit of pain to distract him. This might be his only chance. He had to take it. 

\---------------------------------------------------

Dean was right in the middle of pulling the wet shirt over his head when he heard a strangled grunt from Cas. _Shit. I’m a chick, and now is when he’s affected by me changing in front of him. Great. Why did I have to be a chick? Why does Cas have to have a thing for chicks? This really fucking sucks. I—_

Dean’s thoughts were cut off when he felt a body slam into him and arms wrap around his waist. 

Cas was breathing heavy beside his ear. 

“Now you listen to me Dean Winchester, I am—I am done standing by,” he spun Dean around and ripped the shirt the rest of the way off his shoulders. 

Dean looked at him. He pushed Cas off and stepped back. 

“What! Now that I’m cursed into being a girl, you want to do this? Really? That’s kind of low Cas!” Dean’s eyes were wide as he spit the words. He was hurt. His fears were real. Cas hadn’t shown interest when he was normal, only when he got witched into being a chick. “What happens when Sam finds that bitch and breaks the fuckin curse huh? You’re just going to go back to being my friend like nothing happened?” 

“Dean,” Cas was shocked. Had he really been that good at hiding his attraction? He figured it was obvious by now, and the way Sam had left indicated that he had it figured out. Maybe Dean just didn’t know it yet. Cas smiled. 

“Dean you idiot!”Cas huffed a laugh. 

_What the hell is he talking about? Idiot? Ha!_

“What?” Dean scoffed, “it’s not like you wanted me before.” 

“And you are a complete idiot for thinking that.” Cas was still smiling while Dean was looking increasingly confused. 

“What? I get cursed into being a chick and now you come at me, what am I supposed to think, huh?” 

“Dean,” Cas smiled. Dean had once said this to him, maybe he needed to hear it now too, “Dean, I’d rather have you cursed or not.” 

_Huh._

_Waitwaitwaitwaitwait hold up. *buffering*_

“You mean to tell me that you’ve been holding back for a while?” Dean squinted at him, “How long?” 

“Do you remember the night in the barn when you stabbed me with the demon knife?” Cas tilted his head. 

“Then?” 

Cas nodded, “Then.” 

_Holy shit._

Dean was suddenly aware that he was still completely shirtless. 

¬--------------------------------

When Dean started to reach over for the flannel Cas snatched his wrist away from the bed. 

“You aren’t getting away from me this time Dean Winchester. Besides, Sam told me to keep an eye on you,” Cas’ eyes roved up and down Dean’s naked torso. 

“Uh- ok alright the-” Dean cut himself off. He had decided he wanted this, and he wasn’t going to let himself back out now. He surprised himself and Cas when he rushed forward to slam their lips together. 

It was hot, and sloppy, and unpracticed, but Dean didn’t care. It was Cas. He was finally getting to do this with Cas. While he had just figured out the more emotional side of this feelings-for-Cas thing, the physical lust had been there for quite a while. And Cas seemed just as eager to participate. 

While Dean fumbled with the many layers Cas insisted on wearing at all hours of the day Cas chuckled. 

“What?” Dean’s voice definitely sounded different now. Still husky, but slightly feminine. 

Cas snapped his fingers. Both of their clothes were neatly folded on the floor by the foot of the bed. 

“Well, that really comes in handy-” 

“You talk too much.” Cas growled as he slotted their lips back together. 

Dean shifted against Cas. He groaned. _Well that’s different._ He had never been on this end of the situation. _Holy shit that feels nice._ Cas erection continued to slide against his hip. When Dean pulled back Cas let out an almost animalistic growl. 

“Easy, tiger,” Dean whispered huskily as he began shoving things off of the bed. He crawled to the middle and reached out to pull Cas with him. Dean laughed breathlessly as Cas’ hands roamed his body. “You know you can touch anywhere you want right?” Cas seemed to be avoiding his chest and wouldn’t get remotely close to this pelvis. 

“Yes, Dean. I am quite aware of that,” Cas rasped, “but, these,” Cas ran his hands down Dean’s breasts, “and this,” one hand drifted over his other new lady parts, but not dipping into the folds, “won’t be here after tonight.” He pulled his hands away as Dean gasped at the sensation. “I want this to be like it’s going to be every night after this.” 

“Every night?” Dean laced his fingers through Cas’ hair. 

Cas didn’t answer, he just latched himself onto Dean neck. He groaned and tilted his head to give Cas more room. Cas kissed from his ear to his collar bone where he lingered laving at the skin there and sucking a bruise. Dean groaned and pulled Cas’ mouth back to his. Cas rutting against Dean’s hip in earnest. Hands roamed while they continued to lick into one another’s mouths and grind their hips together. 

“Wait,” Dean gasped. Judging by the sounds coming out of Cas’ mouth he was getting close. 

“What.” 

“Give me a second,” Dean leaned over the side of the bed to dig around in his duffle, “HA! Got it.” He leaned back up against the pillows and pushed the slender bottle of lube into Cas’ palm. Cas clicked the cap open and squirted a decent amount onto his fingers. He sat back between Dean’s open knees. His eyes never leaving Dean’s face as he traced a finger around the puckered muscle there. Dean gasped. The lube was a little cold, but the feeling of Cas slowly pressing a finger into him made him want to push down onto it further. But he didn’t. He let Cas work one finger in and out of a little while. Then when he added a second one and began scissoring them apart to open Dean up more, he couldn’t take it. He began moving his hips to meet Cas’ fingers. Cas put a hand on his hip, stilling him. 

“Patience,” he purred. 

Dean groaned. He was running out of patience. “Cas for the love of – uhnnn – just get in me already!” Cas’ eyes were all but eclipsed by his pupils as they raked down Dean’s body. He didn’t think either on them were going to last much longer. Dean gasped as Cas pulled his hand away to slick up his cock with some more lube. 

“Cas, you get back here, goddammit.” Dean’s hands clinched in the sheets. 

Cas lined up with Dean’s entrance and pushed in, slowly, inch by inch. 

“Hhhhnnnn, Cas,” Dean gasped as Cas bottomed out. They stayed still for what felt like hours, foreheads touching. “Cas, I swear …. Move, dammit.” Cas growled and snapped his hips forward causing Dean to gasp. They set a relentless pace, Cas slamming in as Dean met him blow for blow. _Man, he is surprisingly quiet._ Dean on the other hand is quite loud during such activities. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Dean… uhnnng, Dean!” Cas gasped and he threw his head back in ecstasy. 

“That’s right baby,” Dean purred, “Uuunnn- good angel.” He groaned as he rode Cas through his orgasm. Cas still had his eyes closed as he pumped into Dean, his rhythm steady once again. Dean could feel the heat pooling in this stomach. 

“Ca-… Cas don’t stop.” Dean gasped, his eyes clenching shut. “CAS!” He shouted as he came, painting hot, white stripes across his stomach. 

_Hold up_ , he thought through his post-orgasmic haze, _if I’m a chick, how can I get come on my stomach?_

He opened his eyes and stared at the man still buried inside him. “Cas?” He tested out his voice. It was gravelly and low again. He looked down. “Oh, thank God,” he gasped, and fell back against the pillow. 

“Well,” Cas chuckled as he pull out slowly, “looks like Sam caught the wit-.” Dean’s cell phone ringing cut him off. “You should probably answer that.” 

_What the hell could he possibly be calling about? He ganked the witch._ Dean reached over to the night stand and grabbed at his phone. 

“Sammy, what is it? You got th-” 

“Sorry Squirrel. Moose isn’t here. You’re just going to have to talk to little old me.” 

“Crowley? What the hell do you want?” Cas looked at his, confused. 

“Oh, I was just wondering if you finally got your head out of your arse long enough for Cas to get in it.” 

“Excuse me?” Dean sat up straighter. Cas stood up and started gathering the clothes at the end of the bed, passing Dean’s to him. 

“That poor girl you sent Sam after didn’t change you into a living Barbie doll, idiot, I did.” 

Cas’ head snapped up at that comment. His eyes promising death, or at least a couple of broken ribs, for the King of Hell. 

“Why the fuck would you want to turn me into a girl?” Dean growled into the phone. If they ever saw that smarmy asshole again, Dean would kill him, and this time for good. 

“I was tired of all the angst. I figured this way you’ll both be forced to come to your senses.” 

Dean heard a click over the line and checked the screen, “that dick hung up on me.” Cas was buttoning his shirt when Dean stood up from the bed. He walked over and grabbed the angel by the hips, tugging him closer. “Who says we’re done here, angel?” Dean purred against Cas’ neck, where he was trying his damnedest to suck a hickey despite the fact that he couldn’t stop smiling. 

“Well, I don’t think Sam is one for watching carnal activities such as what just happened. At least not with either of us participating.” Cas replied, but made no move to leave Dean’s embrace. “He’s sitting outside in the Impala, put your pants back on so he can come back inside. It’s cold out there." 

Dean looked at his questioningly and made his way over to the window. He peeked out of the curtain and sure enough Baby was still sitting where he had parked her earlier. “That bastard never even went to look for the witch,” Dean huffed. 

Cas shook his head and walked to the door as Dean slipped his jeans back over his no longer feminine, but still perfect posterior. He opened it and waved Sam back inside. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Dude, you never even went to look for the witch.” Dean grumped. He was grumpy right now, so shoot him. His sex drive was running at full throttle right now and his brother was in the room. _*scoff* cockblock._

“Uh, no. I didn’t. ‘Cause Crowley called me right after shut the door and told me to lay low for about,” Sam looked at his watch, “….an hour.” He couldn’t help his smile. His brother and his best friend could finally stop dancing around each other and the tension was, well it wasn’t gone, but it was taken care of at the moment. 

“So you KNEW?” Dean wasn’t thrilled about that. “You couldn’t have said something?” 

“And what, Dean? Taken away the probably one shot you had to get your head out of your ass?” Sam’s words were awfully close to what Crowley had said on the phone. _I bet they planned this. Those assholes._

Cas just stood in the background smiling fondly at the bickering brothers, but mostly at the one with meadow green eyes and freckles like stars. Who also happened to still be shirtless, but that was beside the point. 

Sam glanced up to see Cas staring at his brother with perhaps the sappiest smile on his face. He stood and shook his head, “Finally.” He made his way to the door again, and tossed his room key on the table. “I’ll book another room till morning,” he said with a smirk as he shut the door. 

Dean looked over at Cas. Well at least that suit jacket and stupid trench coat aren’t in the way this time. He took Cas’ hand and tugged him toward the bed. “Whaddya say angel? Round two? It my turn on top this time.” 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dean and Cas lay there afterwards, basking in the post-orgasmic glow. Cas was curled into Dean’s side as fingers carded through his dark hair. They murmured things to each other. Most of which could boil down to different variations of ‘I love you’. They began to drift off the sleep- 

**NAHNAH NAHNAH DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY NAHNAH NAHNAH DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY**

Dean sat straight up, almost tossing Cas off the bed in the process. “What the HELL?” he looked over at his phone. “DAMMIT SAMMY! Fucker changed my ringtone!” 

Now Cas did fall off the bed clutching his sides so that the laughter wouldn’t potentially break any ribs. 

**Author's Note:**

> yes the title is from Aerosmith. It was kinda cheesy and I couldn't pass it up.  
> my tumblr is http://castiels-half-eaten-pb-and-j.tumblr.com if you wanna check that out.  
> I always love feedback! Tell me what you thought! :)  
> Thanks for reading!!


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